Chapters enfold in our lives. We turn pages as we live them out, eventually telling the entirety of our story. 

Chapters of new beginnings. Chapters of toxic endings. Chapters of fresh hope. Chapters of unknown surprises. Chapters of wild adventures.

After being out of graduate school for some time now, I am embarking on a new chapter. And it’s a chapter of unknown and full dependence on the Lord. I know so many others out there are doing the same. It’s a chapter that comes when we are fully aware of our capabilities, yet we do not know our full potential. It’s a chapter where so many opportunities and possibilities lay right in front, yet it can be intimidating to choose our path, our callings, and the purpose that God has chosen for us.

I was sitting in the driveway in the car with RJ, and he was reassuring me through my bold leaps of faith. We were sitting and just processing the possibility of our potential, our dreams, and our future visions. And I was overwhelmed by two major events happening in my life during that moment. I couldn’t see my potential because I felt called to do some things that I felt radically unqualified to do. One of my favorite quotes is “God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the call” by Christine Caine. Yes God calls the unqualified, and  I think the actual calling tends to be the scariest part. The scariest step is knowing there is this exciting calling on your life, but it’s easy to get afraid & tumble during the first few steps. The calling of “I pick you, my child.” To feel His fingers pointed at you and have a direct anointing of you to embark on His path He has set forth. It can be scary because of our human flesh going up against God’s infinite possibilities. And you try to run from the scary things because they make your hands tremble, but God is right around the corner waiting for you to approach Him again. 

“Sometimes, God calls us to do scary things.” RJ’s words pierced my heart.  Sometimes, God calls us to do scary things. Not the haunted, devilish, scary things. The kind of shakingly “scary” is similar to the anticipation when we walk nervously to the edge of a high diving board to jump off. We have practiced & perfected our diving skills to the most pristine shape, however, the walk before the jump is still scary. The unknown result is scary. Is everything we have practiced going to flourish or fail?

 We are brave enough to walk along with the board, but it brings tingly to our senses because we do not know what will happen when we jump. We are scared of the end results. 

But guess what? 

Do you think Noah was scared when God said that He was going to wipe out the entire earth with a 40-day flood? You guys, he had to build 3 story ark & follow meticulous, specific directions with no flaw to save his family and critters that God wanted to be saved. I can’t even successfully put together a basic IKEA piece, let alone perfectly craft the instructions in Genesis 6:14-21 of a remarkable ark while the world is about to flood.  So I am going to say I think Noah may have a sliver of scaredness, even though he was mighty faithful & blameless to God. 

Do you think Moses was scared when the Lord appeared out of a burning bush and told Moses to bring the Israelites out of Egypt? Yes, Moses was afraid of God’s mighty power. In Exodus 3:6, it says “Moses hid his face because he was afraid to look at God.” Moses was scared and even doubted his abilities. The Lord said in Exodus 4:12 “Now go, and I will teach you what to say” after Moses had confessed that he is ineloquent and slow in speech. Even after the Lord says He will help and teach Moses along the way, Moses requested the Lord to send someone else. Moses was scared of His calling, and the Lord had to talk with Him & provide resources, including his brother Aaron, to go and free the Israelites from the wrath of the Egyptians. 

Do you think Esther was scared that her nationality as a Jew could be revealed and it could mean dangerously severe consequences? I bet you that she was quivering in fear of losing her life as her story in the Bible hits a major theme of walking in faith in spite of fear. 

Between RJ’s quote in the car and these wonderful people of God, the point I am trying to make is that God is going to call us to do scary things. Scary, nail-biting, sweat-pitting kind of things. Things that are way outside of our comfort zone. Things that make us ponder our abilities. Scary things that will bring a tremble to our hands and weaken our knees. Things that will heighten anxiety because we rely on our own understanding.  We will not know the end result at the start of our calling, however, our God is so faithful in the process and will string together everything we need to reach His final destination. We must face the very things that paralyze us with fear and charge headfirst. 

Noah built an ark despite facing a world-ending flood. Moses led God’s tribe out of Egypt despite an army of a cruel Egyptian empire.  Esther saved her entire family and people despite facing her own demise.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

Are we scared because we are leaning on our own understanding? 

Did it make complete sense to Noah to build a giant ark with his own hands? Did it sound comforting for Moses to lead a massive herd of his people out of the domineering country of Eygpt and the cruel Pharaoh? Did it sound soothing for Esther when she heard that she was going to have to stare into the eyes of a dangerously powerful king that could make her greatest fear of dying and losing her people a very real possibility? I am guessing in their imperfect human form, it didn’t make sense at first when they received their calling. 

I am sure it started to make sense when they trusted the Lord with all their hearts. 

 I am leaning on my own understanding to make sense of things that will never make sense to my human form because I am not God. With each leap of faith, let’s leave it with God. We must trust Him with all of our hearts. A pastor at our church this past week said “the hardest step is the next step forward.” So just take the next step forward.

 Our God will make the path straight for us, but we must faithfully set foot on the path.

 God so loves you. Go headfirst into your callings and trust with the absolute fullness of your heart. 

You are incredible & let your sunshine. Whatever God calls you to do, just do it even when it does not make all the sense right now. 

He knows.  

With all my heart,

Haley