To the Girl Who is on Her Romantic Quest to Find “The One.”

This encouragement is for the girl who is on her trying quest to find her “soulmate.” The girl who grew up watching dreamy fairytales of the lost princess finding her perfect prince. The whimsical journey of feeling lost and then found in love. Princess Rapunzel waiting in her tower, with her majestic, long hair out the window for her prince to climb. Princess Aurora is asleep till her one true kiss awakens her. Cinderella is fervently chased by her Prince Charming for sake of her lost shoe.

All of these fairytales have a quest. A quest to find their beloved princess. A quest for the princess to have her lost heart saved by her true love. We even dressed in these darling princess dresses as naive girls, believing in the spark of the damsel in distress. As we grow older, we find these captivating love stories planted in modern-day movies and tv shows. The Rip to Beth Dutton in Yellowstone. The Jack to  Melinda in Virgin River. The Ren to Ariel in Footloose.  The Johnny to Baby in Dirty Dancin’. The list continues on & on of the quests for love. The soulmate. 

We fantasize about the romantic quest of a young woman being rescued by a man.  My question is why are we searching for a man to save our hearts? We are eventually to be loved by a man, but we first must be rescued by God. And I want to ask, have we gone on our quest of seeking & finding God’s love for us first? 

  I just want to challenge the perception of a traditional fairytale. A fairytale is a fairytale.

We are imperfect humans serving a perfect Lord. So that means our “soulmate” will not be perfect either. Of course there are incredible, Godly men created by the Lord to be with us women. Instead of trying to complete our “fairytale” & finding the most perfect Prince Charming, let’s dig into the greatest love story of all: God’s love. The funny thing is that while we go on this quest of digging deeper with our Heavenly Father, He will bring the destined man that is meant to finish the quest with us. After all, He is the one that created man and woman. And the sacred covenant of marriage. All of that is better than a fairytale. Because it is real. 

So this is for the girl who is on her quest to find the “one”, the “soulmate”, her “dream boy.” Too often, I converse with girls who are crafting detailed lists with requirements that must be fulfilled in their searching quest. Most oftentimes, these lists are “too perfect”, and physical expectations that are too “Hollywood” (ripped, toned, Harvard IQ, professional athlete muscle fibers, you get the picture). Physical attraction is important in finding your “one”, but do not be a short-order cook.  A short-order cook is a girl who has a list of nearly impossible requirements, and when a potential man doesn’t match those line by line on her menu, he quickly gets thrown out. Of course, this is not about lowering your standards or expectations, but sitting before the Lord & getting the menu prepared together. When you stop being a short-order cook & truly invite the Lord into your dating quest, that is a recipe for a fruitful feast.

Our Lord is the one that knows who we are destined to be. Genesis 2 brings us to the story of Adam in the Garden of Eden. God had created the world and all of His divine creations. We then learn In Genesis 2:18 (NLT) “God said “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.” The Lord brings wild animals and birds for Adam to name to help find him a helper so Adam does not have to be alone. But none of the animals or birds seem right for Adam. 

So in Genesis 2:21-22 (NLT) “The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and brought her to the man.”

Take a moment and pause at the Lord’s actions in bringing a woman and man together. Adam was no short-order cook. He didn’t bring forth a list of requirements for what his lady ought to be like. Neither did Eve. 

God was in control of whom Adam was going to be with. If you didn’t catch it, Adam was in deep sleep while God was creating his woman for him. His soulmate, His helper, and the one whom he was to be with. Adam did not have to go on a long quest to find his girl. Eve didn’t have to go through multiple dating apps and plentiful dates to find her loved one. Because God was in full control. He knew that man and woman ought to be married and become one. He made Eve for Adam. Adam for Eve. 

There are threads upon the fairytales we grew to love. Princess Aurora was also in deep sleep too when her prince came to kiss her alive. But it’s not the man’s power to bring a woman to life, rather it is the power of the same God who brought Eve to life that will bring you to life. Not her Adam. Not your prince charming, not your boyfriend, not even your husband. God has created you and will kiss your spirit and soul alive with Him alone. Then, He will bring the one. 

What did Adam do on his quest of finding his soulmate? 

He rested. He was in a deep sleep so God could take care of & create his wife. Then, God brought forth Adam’s wife to him. 

Eve was introduced to her man by God. Do you see the overall picture?

You are already in a fairytale of God’s love. Let your heart be captured by His love first. Experience the character of God and His goodness. Then let Him direct you to your man, the one whom He has created by the palm of His hand. 

Trust Him.


With all my heart,


For further encouragement: Check out my other blog posts 🙂

To the Girl Who Battles with Chains of Perfectionism

To the Girl Who Feels Stuck